blah blah blahhhhhhh…………..I’m so confused once again in my life. What else is new? The last week was real busy but wasn’t as stressful as I thought it would be. Christmas wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be either. It was a good time being around the entire family for a few days. Things went pretty well and I got everything I could have asked for and more. So where does the confused part come in? Haha, I wish I knew. The only thing I know is that as well as Christmas went and as content I am with how it went, I feel empty. It probably just goes with the holidays, and even more so following a break up. I hope I don’t feel like it for too long because I need to get a freakin grip and understand that things apparently weren’t what they seemed to be. Man, to tell you the truth, as funny as it may sound, I feel like I lived in a fantasy world for the entire first semester and it is just starting to catch up with me. Everything that I once felt or once thought to be real, wasn’t. I guess you could say I felt mislead. And what bothers me the most is that at random times, I will relive certain things in my head and I get more pissed off then I was when it actually happened. And I wouldn’t feel nearly as bad about this particular situation if it wasn’t for the simple fact that I am given more reason to believe it everyday. I just really need to get a hold of myself for once. I guess it just bothers me that what I didn’t want to happen, is happening. As much as people might not believe me, I’m beginning to not care anymore. And that really is something that I didn’t want to happen because I did want to salvage something out of it but it doesn’t look like an attempt at that will be made. I guess there is nothing that can be done about it and like I said, I did my part so whatever happens, happens. With that said, I really didn’t have a bad Christmas, just an up and down emotions type one. In fact, my Christmas couldn’t have been better because I was with everyone I truly love. I even got to see some old friends which was real cool. But, I’m real tired for some reason so i am gonna hit the sack. Big day tomorrow with the Eagles on and myself in a football game as well. LoL. In closing, I hope everyone had an awesome Christmas and will continue to have a great break, A.I., is the fucking man, and the Eagles are gonna go 15-1…………….I hope. Hahahaha, LaTeR alll………….

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2 thoughts on “

  1. That emptiness, yea it def comes with the holidays and not having a significant other to share it with. Thats y i hate the holidays sooo much, b/c my mom is always sad b/c of it, and that pisses me off. And then i always deal with it too and that pisses me off. So dont worry it will pass home slice. ANd the whole not caring thing, if u have tried everything then there is not much more u can do, and a lot of times not caring works out for the best bc then they may see what they were to stupid in the head to see, which is u are the best friend any one person could ask for, especially in her case……. when u can’t sleep at night PLAY ON WORDS!!

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