June 7, 1997

“Yo Pesotz, would you set fire to O’Hara and go to jail for a few months if it meant the Flyers could have beaten the Wings?”
“Ahhh, we’ll get em next year.”

It’s been “next year” for my whole damn adult (and adolescent) life. We’re always juuust competitive enough to say it. Hope is a good thing, until it friggin up and dies.

June 15, 2001

“We were in every game! We coulda swept Kobe out of Philly and paraded down broad street! Raja Bell!”
“The ball didn’t bounce our way.”

Ok, let’s make this clear – the ball NEVER bounces our way. Not even the rain falls our way.

February 6, 2005

“I can’t take it anymore. When are we going to do it? I thought this was it. I really did.”
“I would have let Donovan puke on me if it meant a title.”
“If it meant a title, he could puke on me every day from now til training camp.”

We’re emotional wrecks. We have all at some point stated that we’d do unsanitary things to ourselves “if it meant a title.” Some seven year olds have seen enough already to question if they’d witness a title in their lifetime. A recent trend seems to indicate that some fans are “trying not to get too hooked” on our teams just to “protect themselves.” We lost our minds long ago. I’m tired of complaining about it. Tonight, a ball IS gonna fall our way. Literally. Right into section 145 in the bottom of the ninth to send us into Broad Street euphoria and a potential apocalypse. That fiasco on Monday night was the last straw. The final countdown. The seventh circle. We’re here. We’ve made it out of the figurative and literal monsoon. It’s time. We’re up 3-1 in the World Series and we’re crafting conspiracy theories following Tropical Storm Selig.

I’m done with it. We’re three innings from freedom. Free from sacrificing family members, serving prison sentences, and cleaning up vomit. Free from bad bounces, fallacious forecasts, and false hope. And for god’s sake, we’re three innings to freedom from “there’s always next year.”

There’s always next year, but there’s always tonight, too.

Let’s go win a championship.


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